NaNoWriMo 2017: (Probably) My Daily Process

It's almost time for NaNoWriMo. So far in the lead-up to this year's events I've:

1. Tried to plan an ambitious rewrite.
2. Considered starting a new story but keeping the old one in my mind as I do it.
3. Decided I probably should just write a whole new story to remind myself I can do it.

It's only the 30th, so I still have time to change my mind at least once more. I have something in mind for that 'whole new story', though, so I might be settled now.
So, onto the finer details. I don't know if I've talked about this before, but this is more or less my daily process:

First, clear away any clutter on my desk. I have quite a small desk at the moment, so I have to pack away one task to make room for a new one. It turns out this is also a good way to shift my mind from one thing to another. Handy bonus!

Second, set up all my writing stuff. I need pens, paper to write on, and my current project's Zim wiki open on the computer screen. If I'm going to use the typewriter, I also need to set it up and check over everything to make sure it's working.

Third, pick some writing music. I'll do a post about that later, probably.

Then, it's time to start writing. In spite of all the preparation and stuff, there's nothing special here. I just open the file or grab a blank sheet of paper and dive into it. The last sentence from yesterday is the clue to the first sentence of today, and the first sentence leads naturally into the second, and so on.

Usually, I'll write for about 30 minutes and get somewhere around 500 words. If I'm feeling gloomy, I'll cut down to 15 minutes, and if I get into the zone I'll forget to check the clock and end up doing just about my entire wordcount in one session.

Then... well, rinse and repeat until I get to 1667 words. Most of the time, that's enough.
Occasionally, I have to get away from the computer. I haven't worked out how to use a typewriter in bed, so this tends to mean pen and paper. This is also the perfect late-night option for keeping the noise down or for enjoying the silence.

So anyway, that's how I write. I think.

I guess NaNo is going to be all about testing my process and trying out new stuff. Should be fine, right?

NaNoWriMo 2017: And here's where the second thoughts kick in...

I had forgotten — allowed myself to forget, maybe — that by the standards of the NaNoWriMo forum I do everything wrong. If I offer advice or support to someone, the next few posts will be contradictions targeted directly at me. If I ask a question, all responses will be phrased in terms of 'you've done everything wrong up to now, but you can save yourself by following my advice'.

This is... honestly, probably all in my head. It's me being oversensitive or something. It's the community assuming every question has 'I need to throw my entire process out the window' at its core. That much, I've observed from reading threads I have nothing to do with.
So, I end up in this position: I sort of want to do NaNoWriMo for the challenge, but I think trying to get involved at all is only going to hurt me. I'm not naturally a confident writer and being part of a community that can be relied on to criticise every part of my process will give the voices of doubt and uncertainty that much more strength.

The thing is, the NaNoWriMo community is supposed to be the best part, not the worst. It's supposed to be supporting and caring, and most of the time I can tell myself that all the criticism and correction is well-meaning. When it's directed at me, though, I can't shrug it off. I start to question myself instead.

What if the reason I haven't written much this year is that there's something terribly wrong with my process? Do I need to throw it all out the window and try something new? According to NaNoWriMo, the answers would be 'yes, that's the reason' and 'yes, you definitely should change your process'. Bit by bit I internalise this idea that everything I'm doing is wrong, and without even setting out to do it I start trying to change things.

Changing things according to advice and self-doubt only leads one place: straight into the Brick Wall of 'I Give Up'. According to the community, this is because I'm not trying hard enough. If I really set my mind to the task of learning and implementing this new process — whatever it is — I'd be fine. And, I'm never fine. I only become fine when I escape from all the well-meaning but ultimately destructive advice and go back to what I know has worked in the past.

I usually don't get to this point until about mid-November, when the negative thoughts about how badly I've followed all the advice becomes overwhelming. To sit here before NaNo has even started and realise the community will poison me is a strange feeling. I'm not sure where to go from here.

So, this is what has worked for me in the past:

1. Before starting, I need a title (so I can name files something) and a genre (which is automatic, because I always know I want it to be SFF). Nice but not necessary: a named character and a vision of where this character is sittng when the story starts.
2. Have a significant starting date (usually 1st of the month), a clear ending date, and a daily and overall wordcount goal.
3. While writing, maintain consistent progress: write every day, keep hitting the daily goal.

It's that simple, and that hard. This November, if I write anything at all, this is what would work. I just have to convince myself to stick with it, because that's the real problem I have with writing: not that my process is wrong, but that I need to work harder at actually following it.

NaNoWriMo 2017: A Pantser's Journey

This year, I had... well, not exactly a plan, but a clear intention. I wanted to escape from my 'big' project of the last year or so, and I wanted to do it by reviving an old, incomplete story. I spent a week or so reading old stories and picked out a likely candidate. This was in the first week of October. Then, as writers often do, I settled down to plan out exactly what I was going to do.

Two weeks later, I realised I'd actually been using study to procrastinate from planning my novel. Yes, you read that correctly: I avoided planning my novel by studying. That was about the point where the Self-Doubt Monster re-entered my life. If I had so little enthusiasm for what I was going to write that I'd rather work on an essay about 19th century French realist authors, something must be seriously wrong. Maybe I was never really meant to be a writer, and it was time to put all this silliness behind me and... and that's where I stopped, because the nice people at NaNoWriMo invited us all to think about what would be our biggest obstacle this November.

Answer: Basically, me. I am in my way. My biggest obstacle to overcome in NaNoWriMo or any other writing is my inclination towards self-sabotage. Given the slightest opening, I know I'll be able to talk myself out of writing and probably even persuade myself I shouldn't have started in the first place. I'll convince myself I haven't got time right now, or that I shouldn't write until after I've finished today's study tasks, or that now that I've missed a couple of days there's no point continuing, or that I've made a terrible mistake 10k ago and there's no way to continue without finding and rectifying that mistake... and it goes on.

And, that's what I'd been doing all this month. By deciding to plan this novel, I'd given myself a platform for talking myself out of writing it.

So, I asked myself this: when has sitting down and planning things out ever gotten me out of trouble with something writing-related?
 
Answer: essay writing. There, I have notes and plans and a nice tidy skeleton to follow, and things tend to work out best if I stick to them.

Everything else, though, I just sort of throw a bunch of stuff onto a page and then repeat that until I get something that looks more or less like the expected product. I'm aware of structure as I do it, but only in the most general sense. Anything more creative than an academic essay is written and rewritten by feel, not by lists and outlines.

So, this is what I'm going to do in November. No plans, no outlines, no list of instructions for rewriting an old draft. I'll have the old story in my head, but mainly I just want to make a story-shaped space in my life and then set myself the task of filling that space.

I have a plan. My plan is to write like hell until I reach the 50k goal, and then keep going until I get to the end of the story. If the pants fit, write by the seat of them!

I'll figure the rest out later.

Some thoughts about process and SeptNoWriMo

So, I have this idea that maybe I'm subconsciously discarding processes that work. Not sure why: some kind of weird self-sabotage, most likely. To try to fight back against this, I'm trying to figure out what works and what doesn't work, and I'm starting by looking at my work over the past few years. I've tried a few different processes with varying results.

* I've written five 1000-word stories (Death-stream, Drunk/Goat (untitled), The Goat Man, Alone Together, and Haunting Perfections of the Lightless Void).
* I've written one 9k short story (Swanflight/The Last Dance Before Midnight).
* I've written 40k of a novel or series (The Nightmare Box).

Of those, the most successful would probably be either SSSFFSS or the flash fiction. Or, most worked on would be TNB. Which is the deciding factor: most complete, or most effort? If I go with most effort, that makes me feel more like my spreadsheets are some kind of use, so I'll probably try that for now. So...

2017: TNB is most worked on, TLDBM (SSSFFSS) is most complete.
2016: LOFB is most worked on, TWEOTR (SSSFFSS) is most complete.
2015: Placeholder is most complete. Looks like most worked on is Fire and Ice.
2014: Most complete will be Children of Light (SSSFFSS). Most worked on is either The Artist or Necroverse in general.
2013: Most worked on and most complete is Seeker: second drafts of Doom, Despair, and Desolation.
2012: Most worked on would probably be Doom. Most complete is probably the second draft of Darkness.
2011: Most worked on will be Dispersion. There's no clear contender for most complete as all 12 drafts that year were completed first drafts.

Next question: of the projects listed, which are most indicative of the process I was following that year? If I go by that sort of criteria, it's going to be like this: Dispersion, Doom, probably Doom again, The Artist (although with reference to the interference of the wider Necroverse), Placeholder, LOFB, TNB. Although, if I break out of the thing with years slightly...

Alternative: can I identify a generic set of processes as suggested by these stories?

1. Deadline and wordcount goal, linear pantsed. This is what I was doing in 2010, 2011, and 2012, with 15 first drafts completed in that time.
2. Deadline and wordcount goal, non-linear pantsed. I switched to this in 2013 and although I can reach the wordcount goal within the time, I don't seem to be able to make a coherent story out of it.
3. Wordcount goal but no deadline, linear pantsed. I've tried this off and on from 2013 to the present and it doesn't work, because when there's no reason to keep poking at it I tend to quit at the first major hurdle.
4. No wordcount goal, no deadline, non-linear pantsed. This is the 'take out everything that works and wonder why I'm not getting anywhere' one, which I tend to interweave with #2 in the hope of fixing it.

That's four variations. Looking at that list, I reliably complete drafts when I have both deadline and goal and I write straight through from start to finish. I've finished a couple of shorter things by dropping the linear part, but it doesn't seem to work for longer stuff. And, there really isn't much point starting a project with no constraints. So, based on my own historical data, this is probably what my optimum process looks like :

1. I need a clear idea of the format/wordcount required. E.g. 'novel', 'short story', '50k'.
2. I need a work structure somewhat like NaNoWriMo where I have a daily wordcount goal and a fixed start/finish date. It doesn't have to be the length of NaNo, but needs a certain level of "you can't back out" built into it.
3. I can write random scenes occasionally, but I should mostly focus on producing a linear narrative.

So, I'm thinking of getting back to something like this, which possibly means I need to declare next month a somewhat official SeptNoWriMo.

Some random NaNo Prep thoughts

I had some thoughts about NaNoWriMo preparation while writing a forum post today, so I've decided to expand them into a blog post. Here goes:

My NaNo Prep strategy is to pretend I'm not going to do it until the last possible minute, then make a snap decision that I'm going to take a break from whatever I'm working on to do something fun. The problem with this is that I got kind of obsessed with the thing I started last NaNo and I'm still working on it, so to follow my usual strategy I'd probably have to go back to the thing this project is a distraction from. Or, I could follow my more recent 'usual strategy' and just keep attacking this project until I finally get to the end.

As far as planning vs. pantsing I'm definitely a pantser, so my preparation for NaNo is pretty simple. I make a list of characters I know are going to be in it, write a brief description of them, write down some rough guidelines for the setting, then try to write down what the opening image is without actually starting the story. If I know anything else e.g. I might be setting out to find a different way to develop an older idea, I write that down as well. I don't bother trying to develop plot points or anything like that, because at this stage it would be a list of things that definitely aren't going to happen rather than a useful guide.

Also, you need a title. It serves several functions for me - an expression of theme, a thing to name folders and story files, and of course a necessary part of signing up for NaNoWriMo. The 'expression of theme' thing is sort of by accident. I choose titles that sort of fit the story I'm expecting to write, but they end up being somehow integral. For example, one time I used the title Placeholder because I had no idea what I'm going to write. One of the major characters turned out to be the prototype/guinea pig for an experiment the bad guys were running, and another one became a scapegoat of a less-bad guy's embezzlement scheme. Or another time I decided I definitely didn't want to write about a necromancer, so I used the joke title Hold the Necrosauce. You'll never guess what the story ended up being about.



 Finally - and this probably sounds either obvious or silly - I don't think you really have to do anything special or different for NaNo. It's more like the distilled essence of the things that already work for you. If you usually plan things thoroughly, you won't suddenly be able to write a fantastic pantsed draft, and if you're usually a pantser it's quite likely you'd end up dumping any planning you attempt. So, I'd say the first step is to figure out what works (and what doesn't work) for you already. Then, figure out how to adapt the 'what works' list to working at NaNo speed and also probably figure out how to avoid falling into the dangerous territory of the 'what doesn't work' list.

So, conclusion:

1. You will get attached to your NaNo story even if you start it as a distraction 
2. You need a title. Your choice of title will probably affect the story even if it's just a joke or placeholder.
3. Make two lists - 'things that work for me' and 'things that don't work for me'. Use the first list to figure out your NaNo strategy.

The Sparks Project (subtitle: looking for something to set me on fire)

Okay, so I'm struggling with short story ideas and I need to be not struggling. I already know that, and I already have a vague idea about trying to write them in existing universes, but that's not really going to solve the problem. The real problem is that I'm on the wrong side of another divide: the one between 'serious writer' and 'muse dust'. The story ideas I've been coming up with for uni are in the 'serious writer' category, which means I'm coming up with things I think I should be writing rather than things I actually want to write. So, in August I'm trying to change this pattern. I'm basically going to work in a cycle of plan-write-reflect and try to settle into the restrictions so I can start playing with them. I don't know if that makes sense, which means it probably doesn't.

The process I'm following is simple:

1. Think of a title.
2. Plan the story.
3. Write the story.
4. Reflect on the story.
5. Start again at #1 with a new idea.

There are only a few rules. Stories should be between 900 words and 1100 words. I'm also aiming to start a new story every second day, although that's not a rule so much as an ambition. If they take longer or I miss a day for some reason, that's okay. Also, it's a semi-rule that the reflection should be written on a different day to the story itself, because if I try to do it straight away I'll miss the things I'd be able to spot after a bit of time.

August Goals and Plans

August is the month of goats! Also, the shortest 'Daily Goats' on the Blackwood farm since... probably some time in the late 90s? We have only one mother-to-be this year, due on the 22nd. They're most likely going to be solid black with white markings (British Alpine), but could be solid black (Australian Melaan). I'm going to take as many pictures of them as I can, but given my record I guess I'd better not promise anything will appear here...

Writing-wise, I plan to make August a month of flash fiction. I have to write two stories for assessment and I've been wanting to do a bit of world exploration for some of my big projects, so I have this idea about combining the two things and writing flash set in those worlds. I also have a bit of 'alternate universe' stuff I want to do for two (not quite) abandoned characters to see if I can find a world that accommodates their abilities, and I have two sections of my current major project 'The Nightmare Box' that I want to finish rewriting.

Goals for August:

* Write and polish at least 2 flash stories.
* Always Be Writing - constantly have at least 1 flash story in active planning/writing/editing mode.
* Finish editing/rewriting the two sections of TNB.
* Initial plan for revising two of my totally-not-abandoned projects.
* Read 4 books (3 free choice, 1 nonfiction).
* Blog stuff.
* Complete all assessment tasks for uni (1 essay, 1 quiz, 2 short stories + exegesis, 4 sets of forum posts).

I have no idea what to blog about, so at the moment I'm creating redundant rainbow chickens again by posting the same things here as on my Steve PPT. Anyway, this is my August. Flash fiction, some planning, a bit of rewriting, a lot of assessment-related panic. On with the show.

Hmm... August flash/short fiction challenge for Steve? As long as I'm going to be doing it anyway, I might as well put it up as a challenge. That seems to be my basic philosophy for challenges - if you're doing it anyway, post a set of rules so anyone else who wants to can try the same thing. In this case the rules would be really simple, since the only requirement is to write something that's somewhere around the right length. Or should it be a '1000-word chunk' challenge instead so I don't have to feel like I've failed if I end up with something that's really a part of a novel?